Eraserhead: Dare to make Non-Sense.

Image from www.rogerebert.com

I have always considered myself a critic for the average joe. I don’t want to be the cinephile, touting film theory and other jargon over the heads of others. I want to fairly represent the normal person who goes to a movie theater to enjoy a film, get some popcorn, yada yada yada. So I will not, for this movie, be offering a vast interpretation of the strange symbolism I saw. Instead, I offer my repeated reaction to everything I saw:

(Image from adisin-beneathyourskin.blogspot.com.)

 

Does anyone know where the plot went...hello?

My best attempt at a summary is thus: Henry Spencer is a poor dork living in a bad apartment in the middle of a desolate industrial wasteland, who likes to make googly-eyes at his sexy neighbor and contemplate his navel (actually his radiator… which I’m told represents suicide, but I wouldn’t know). After watching him spit out a sperm from his mouth, courtesy of a man pulling levers (inside his brain, I think) we find that Henry’s girlfriend, Mary, is pregnant with a muppet reject  deformed, premature baby. They rush into a marriage, Mary leaves from lack of sleep, Henry steps up to be a dad… and then everything gets weird. Fast.

    In all seriousness, this film is presented pretty nicely. The surreal imagery we’re presented flows pretty smoothly from scene to scene, leaving the viewer to wonder if what they just saw was actuality or hallucinatory symbolism. The symbols themselves are certainly not boring, definitely thought-provoking, and shows that David Lynch is a very creative man. In short, I couldn’t pan this movie on execution even if I had wanted to.

    But, as creative and revolutionary as the execution is… the film is difficult to sit through.  The music-less atmosphere is thick, suffocating and uncomfortable, made only worse by a plethora of painful characters. Henry’s a social pariah, Mary is spineless, and her mother is so crazy she just ups and latches onto Henry’s neck in the middle of a dinner scene. And the moments when we see the strange hit the fan are borderline indecipherable, and usually fairly gross. It’s a lot to take in and I suspect the average person will be lost within five minutes.

    My biggest issue with this movie is that it is sloooow. The pacing goes at an uncomfortable, teeth-gnashing, painfully slow rate; what’s more, I think it’s on purpose. Sometimes these scenes meander on, way past when whatever point was made, and it leaves me clutching at my chair and begging Lynch to call ‘cut!’. The scene which gives the movie it’s title is such an example, as it goes on and on to make a point that could have been made in less than two minutes. Somehow, despite the actual storyline jumping around quite quickly, it feels like the film is dragging their feet. But, again, this was likely on purpose given how the film is classified as ‘horror’. 

    So my final verdict is mixed. If you are savvy to the way of films, adore the flicks that force you to think, and crave a movie that will leave you pondering for several days afterwards, then you have to get Eraserhead under your belt. It’s chock full of strange and provocative images that are begging for your personal interpretation, and gloating in the fact that you’re left clueless. As for those who aren’t looking for any of that, and went to the cinema to casually relax, than keep this one at an arm’s length. Much like Donnie Darko, this is not a film watched at the sleepover with popcorn and chocolate milkshakes.

    In fact I wouldn’t recommend eating at all...I ate popcorn...and regret my decision. So, in lieu of this, we’re going to aim for something that looks a bit more silly-awesome.

Next Film: SGT. Kabukiman, NYPD.

Halloween: THe Boogyman comes home.

Image from http://backwoodshorror.com

Beware the bogy man…
    The little town of Haddonfield is in shock when 6 year-old Michael Myers murders his older sister, Judith, with a kitchen knife. 15 years later, Halloween Night, the amoral  Myers has escaped from his Asylum and returned home to commit more atrocities. His path crosses with that of  Lynda, an amoral-blond-bimbo (Dead-Meat #1), Annie, an amoral-jerk (Dead meat #2 2), and Laurie, the responsible girl-scout who turns a blind-eye to their poor choices (Jamie-Lee Curtis). It’s a suffocating thriller as you watch Myers slowly stalk idiotic teenagers whose dumb decisions come back to bite them, and the relentless prowling of an evil man who just. Won’t. Die!
    And then the sequels came and ruined everything, but that’s neither here nor there.
    So I’m naturally biased here, as this was the first slasher-movie I ever saw, but the film has enough of a fan-following that I need not try to force myself to be negative. It is an entertaining and scary horror film that has several bragging points for it’s low budget: Mikey himself is a terrifying force with little more than a painted Captain Kirk Mask; For a film done near completely at night, it did an amazing job making sure everything was adequately visible, and the film uses that darkness well towards its jump scares. With some great piano tracks and camera angles, it’s clear that John Carpenter knew exactly what he was doing.
    That said...perfection, it is not. We are, after all, talking about one of the core slasher films, and it did churn out the biggest slasher movie stereotypes. Sorry for spoilers, but Lynda and Annie, the two amoral teens I mentioned, are killed, and only responsible, ‘pure’ Laurie gets out alive.  Mikey also has a tendency to move impossibly fast when the plot demands, and how he actually learned to drive in that asylum is still a little questionable:
    There’s also a question of how someone who looks like this gets unnoticed for so long, but most of these are nitpicks.
    Lastly, there’s one more elephant in the room that needs addressing. There have been several critics who claim the film promotes several terrible things, misogyny and sadism being just a few. They’re valid points, given the awful things that happen to the girls, but I don’t think they’re nearly as terrible as some would believe. After seeing the absolute torture-fest that was Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, I can say confidently that Halloween isn’t in support of any of that. Annie and Lynda didn’t die because they were sexually promiscuous, they died because they were caught in an unfortunate situation. Furthermore, their deaths were not overly violent or drawn out, and unless you find suffocation and stab wounds titillating, you’re not gonna be too turned on when they’re finally axed.
So, my final thought is thus: This is a horror movie classic, and an awesome piece of October nostalgia. It’s the type of film that demands watching with a group of friends over a bowl of popcorn, lights down low, and sound up high. It’s spooky, unnerving, well acted, and very well directed. Just do yourself a favor and bypass the sequels...they’re not worth anybody’s time, even casually.
Since my next post will be on Halloween, how about we tackle my favorite horror movie, which just so happens to be classified as a cult film?

Next Film: Carrie

The Stuff: The Stuff of Badly Written Nightmares.

Image from comicartfans.com

This would be a hell of a lot scarier if the directors had given a damn.

...Okay, seriously, what the hell?

    Two unmanned, unimportant construction workers discover a weird bubbling substance in the middle of winter. They get the incredibly stupid brilliant idea to taste it and soon it’s sold by container to millions under the name ‘The Stuff’ (height of creativity, that one.) Ice Cream Companies world wide send in a badly-acted mole to get the formula, only for him to discover that The Stuff is an evil, mind controlling alien bent on taking over the world. Bad special effects ensue, badly written characters are killed in stupid fashions, and I’m left laughing at just how pitiful this film is.

    First of all, let’s just be clear; the idea isn’t entirely stupid, but it is incredibly lame. The idea of killer ice-cream is so kitchy that it needs clever writing and good storytelling if it is ever going to get off the ground. Such was the case with Killer Klowns from Outer Space which made good use of colorful visuals, insanely comedic writing, and good actors whose charm outweighed their stereotypes.

    That charm and fantastic writing was nowhere to be seen here. Ignoring the premise, the visuals were some of the ugliest I’ve ever seen (second only to Nuke’em High), and the writing was some of the worst I’ve come across. The Stuff looked utterly disgusting, even when it was presented in colorful containers, with method-of-murder being the only interesting thing it ever did. The story-telling techniques were non-existent with terrible pacing, poorly written characters, and some of the most inane movie-logic I’ve ever seen; seriously, if you saw some strange white substance bubbling up out of the ground, would your first instinct be to eat it, or call the CDC?

    Such poor presentation is only hindered by the actors.  The child actor was surprisingly okay, but the adults in this film were just comedically bad.  Mo’s faux southern accent, punctuated by one too many ‘uhs’ and ‘ums’ triggered my gag-reflex more than once;  The dad comes across more abusive than authoritative, and Nicole couldn’t be more plain and boring if she tried. The corny acting on all sides just breaks whatever spell you’re trying to put forward, and leaves me feeling detached rather than entertained.

    My final thought on the stuff is that we are at the site of a tragedy.  Remembering the acid-cream pies from Killer Klowns, I wish the directors of the stuff had tried to have a little more fun with their concept instead of attempting to play it straight. With this in mind, I must dissuade those looking for a fun horror movie to watch this October. The Stuff is insultingly poor in production and presentation, in dire need of some pruning shears, and leaves on the most confusing ending I’ve seen in awhile. If the creators didn’t feel it was worth their time to make it the best it could be, it’s not worth your time to sit through it.

To prove my point, our next film is a little classic film that proves that quality can be achieved on a shoestring budget.

Next Film: Halloween.

The Man Who Fell to Earth: Eyes Wide Shut

   

Image from Blogspot.com

You see this? Do you feel uncomfortable? You should, they were having sex ten seconds ago.

 I’m a day late, but I needed a moment to really collect my thoughts on this one. It was an experience that warranted more than a minute’s worth of meditation.

    Thomas Jerome Newton is a humanoid alien, come to earth to save his planet from a terrible drought. He quickly amasses a giant amount of money to fund the project, mystifying and entrancing the people who comes into contact with. But the vulnerable alien soon finds himself caught up in the web of trouble, addicted to Television, alcohol, and lost in a world of values and edifices that will do their best to drag him down. It’s a meditative piece about our world, caught up in it’s surrealist imagery and creative camera angles. If true art is truly incomprehensible, this is certainly the latter...I’m not sure about the former.

    The story itself is not my source of agitation. The idea is based off a novel by Walter Tevis, and actually as an interesting piece of science fiction. It’s not the first time we’ve postulated how our society would utterly wreck a being from another planet (won’t be the last) and it could be an interesting character study. The idea stands on it’s own just fine, and I’m actually considering going to find the book.

    What doesn’t work is the execution. The story, quite frankly, drags its feet for hours on end, while presenting an incomprehensible series of surreal images that were probably meant to be deep in some fashion. I was either bored, a movie quality to be downright sinful in cinema, or confused most of the time as the story attempted to unfold in front of me.

    When the film wasn’t boring, or just unintelligible, it was beset with awkward nudity. I have now seen all the naked David Bowie that I probably ever will, and found myself having the exact opposite response I expected. While I don’t expect all nudity to be portrayed as erotic, I certainly don’t expect it to be seen as so clumsy, awkward, and uncomfortable. It felt voyeuristic, likely the intention, but it made things incredibly uncomfortable. Besides, no one wants the naked coital couple to suddenly turn and look at the camera: the shame will never leave you.

    It’s all a shame, really, because the actors involved are quite good. David Bowie, as always, is stunning in his ability to portray incredibly complex characters as he did with Tommy. He’s so fragile, and yet mysterious and unnerving in his childish ways. Rip Torn as Bryce is an interesting study in both a mid-life crisis and a conflict of interesting. But all the good acting in the world can’t make up for an utterly sluggish pace, mixed-message metaphors, and a style that just leaves the audience far, far behind.

    In short, I found it mildly pretentious, incredibly awkward, and beyond confusing. I imagine someone who’s more knowledgeable in surrealist expression and ‘true art’ would likely know it better than me, but I gave up. That said, I can still recommend the movie to a select crowd of people. If you like out of your head experiences, deep philosophical musings, and have a taste for the bizzare, go for it at least once. Those looking for a fun, casual experience...try something else. So, overall, not for everybody, but not an abomination of cinema.

   

Next Film: The Stuff

Nightmare Before Christmas: Warning, I gush.

  

Image from Pintrest  

Boys and Girls of every age, come follow me to something strange. Come with us and you will see, this film both of Christmas, and Halloween…

This is Halloween, and yet it’s tragedy, poor Jack feels lost as the night draws closed. Searching for answers, the skeleton wonders stumbling upon the strangest wood you ever saw. Through one door, what’s in store, when Christmas becomes Halloween....

In non-rhythmetic turns, Jack Skellington is the Pumpkin King, most popular fright in all of Halloween Town, and very bored. Years and years of the same spooks have driven the skeleton to a deep depression, searching for something to cure this aching emptiness. After wandering aimless in the woods from grief, he stumbles upon a door that leads him to the most joyous of places: Christmas town. Overcome with the abundant joy and cheer of such a place, Jack decides that this (whatever ‘this’ is) is the cure for his sorrows. He stages a pleasant takeover of Christmas that quickly spirals out of control. What’s worse, Halloween staging Christmas, or Sandy Claws in the clutches of the ever terrifying Boogie-Man?

I love the concept just on principle; it’s fun, clever and not too complicated so the kiddies can enjoy it too. Jack’s exploration of Christmas is almost innocent in it’s scientific curiosity, and his humor about taking over it  is so good-natured it’s impossible not to be rooting for him...even if you know it won’t end well. It’s the fact that our hearts are with him that carries the story through to the end, and his classy attitude that keeps him in our good favor. Because, let’s face it, if Jack had been a crass nobody that we hated than we would have been horrified to see him take over the most wonderful time of the year.

In fact, Burton’s trademark of sympathetic characters continues with Jack’s love interest, Sally (one-sided, oh the shame). Sally, the restless, love-sick ragdoll is so sweet and kind, and her wish that Jack would take notice of her feelings is just heart-breaking (at least it was to 16 year old me, your mileage may vary).  Furthermore, the fact that Sally clearly cares about Jack’s wellbeing (sending him food when he’s locked in his house) makes her warnings to him come across less like a mindless nag and more like a carrying wive. All in all, two great characters who balance each other well, and surrounded by some great side-characters too.

That said, there is one issue I have; Oogie-Boogie, namely it’s difficult to decide how to handle him.

On the one hand, he’s a fantastic villain for the setting. Acting as the foil-boogie man to Jack’s more fun and traditional variety, he stands as a great contrast to our main protagonist. His song was fun, and lord only knows what he did to Santa during our time away from him. In his own right, he’s scary, and could very well be a threat to Jack’s Christmas endeavor.

But, on the other hand, it’s difficult to place him in the overall plot of things. While Boogie foiling Jack’s Christmas would have been entertaining, it also could have risked being forced. The actual events that took place fit so well and so smoothly into the plot that I am loath to break it up with some forced “mwahaha” just for the sake of having a villain. I may be miffed that he’s only here at the end of the film, and yet I’m unsure where to put him otherwise.

But I don’t like to nit-pick too much, so we’ll move on. The scenery itself is lovely, as the claymation animators had a hell of a hay-day on both Halloween and Christmas Town. The former is dark, highly textured, and seeped in spooky undertones while the latter is bright, colorful, and smattered with warm colors. One has to appreciate how smooth the motions in this film are, given just how difficult claymation actually is. It’s fluid and fun, you’ll be immersed as soon as the music starts.

And oh the music; Danny Elfman out-did himself.  There’s a variety in the music we’re given, matched perfectly with the specific situation. For Boogie we get a dark, atmospheric Jazz; for Jack’s discovery of Christmas Town, we get a high energy, bright, happy tune to match his curiosity, and many more. I could go on, but I’d be gushing way more than I already am. I think perhaps it’s just better for you to take a listen:

Fluid, fun and even romantic (despite the little interaction between Sally and Jack) I can’t recommend this movie enough; though I suspect several of the internet population have already seen it. Applicable to either the fall or winter holiday, curl up, sing along, and let the touchy-feely vibe get you all warm and fuzzy inside. Who knows, maybe you’ll join the cult that parrots out the songs and find themselves developing crushes on a Skeleton.

Join us, won’t you, in our town of Halloween…

Next Film: The Man Who Fell to Earth (1976)

The Adventures of Baron Munchausen: Witty Wonders of the World

Image from Rhymes With Geek: Top 5 Underrated Robin Williams Movies

            Before I get into my usual style of summary and criticism, I’d like to take a moment to talk about the recent loss of the amazing actor, Robin Williams. I had no idea he was in this movie when I picked it, and it hit me like a truck when I saw he had passed away.  He was an actor and comedian of amazing talents, one that played a huge role in my childhood, and I’ll always remember him as one of the funniest men alive. It was such a horrible tragedy to see his life come to this, but I think it best we remember him not for what happened but for what he was: hilarious, talented, friendly and a true force of nature. Oh captain, my captain, we will miss you.

            This was one of his funnier movies, The Adventures of Baron Munchausen. The movie brings to life the extravagant and exaggerated war-stories of Hieronymus Carl Friedrich Baron von Münchhausen (who in addition to having a ridiculously long name was a general in the Russian army against the Ottoman Turks). The story opens in a war-torn, unnamed European city, run by The Right Ordinary Horatio Jackson (He’s as exciting as he sounds, sadly). Suddenly the Turks break with Jackson’s schedule and attack the town, and it’s up to the newly arrived Baron to save them.  He travels from one fantastical place to another to collect his gang of misfits, each equipped with their own fantastical powers, and come back in time to save the city. It is, in one short sentence, Adult-Adventure-Nostalgia on steroids.

            This is High Adventure at the purest level. Sultans, gods, giants and all kinds of other elements all collide together in this fun little mesh-mash. Director Terry Gilliam presents us two separate worlds. One is drab and ‘Right Ordinary’, where wars are run on a schedule and soldiers are executed for being heroes. The other world is colorful and runs on the logic of a child, with long-haired goddesses (Uma Thurman), hilarious Italian moon people (Robin Williams & Valentina Cortese) and so much more. Even more curious, there’s this sad undertone to all this whimsy. The baron himself and his servants are all dying in this world of the logical and science. There isn’t any room to dream, thus, no room for them.

            A big point in this film’s favor is the humor. It’s gets downright raunchy at moments but comes at an angle of infantile cluelessness. It stems from our wonderful cast, who I am sure took some pointers from Monty Python (kinda have to since Eric Idle’s in the mix.) John Neville’s Baron Munchausen has a great way of portraying a hero of the older days: comically exuberant, always ready with a rose for fair-maiden, and sad to see the world leave him in the dust. Our supporting character, Sally Salt (Sarah Polley) is by far the best straight man I’ve seen in awhile.  It’s her desire to see the end of the story that proves that the world still cares for the baron’s kind of story, no matter how drenched in realism we found ourselves.

            Altogether, the skillful acting, amazing scenery, and nonsensical situations create a very wild ride that is worth a watch. Get your friend and grab some popcorn for what will be one of the more fantastical things you’ve seen, but be prepared to sit for awhile. This was along film, as it had several different situations to get through (but it flushed everything out, fancy that.) It was extremely funny, eye-popping, and great for someone looking for a casual watch.

            So, where to now? We covered slightly obscure, massive favorites and even something for the good ole’ UK. But I notice most of my picks have been stuck between the 80s and 90s.  We’re going to try something much more modern this time...and a helluva lot more confusing.

Next Film: Donnie Darko

Killer Klowns From Outer Space: Kost-effective Kure for Klown-a-Phobia

 

They have their own theme song...what are you waiting for?!

This is the second monster movie I’ve watched that took place in California. Is there something going on there that ole’ sunny Cali isn’t telling us?

            Specifically our little story takes place in Crescent Cove, California, where a suspicious shooting star interrupts what would otherwise be a goofy and awkward totally hot makeout between our main characters, Michael and Debbie. Mike and Debbie in typical horror-movie-induced stupidity go to investigate find that their town is now in danger from alien clowns Klowns. The Klowns are here to murder, collect, and snack on innocent civilians, so it’s up to Mike, Debbie, and Debbie’s ex-boyfriend/cop to stop them in what is one glorious horror-comedy.

            In movies like this the story is both non-important and a saving grace. I say non-important because looking for plot holes and logic in a movie about alien clowns would be missing the point.  However, it’s also a saving grace because it just continues to dive deeper and deeper into absurdism as it goes. We get lots of ‘you be dead’ scenes in which the Klowns kill and capture townsfolk in increasingly dark-comedic fashions, and I always give credit to a movie that rewards people who mark smart decisions in a crisis. And it’s somehow insanely fun to watch our main cast of characters scramble about like little ants.

            Ah, but here comes the nit-picking I must do as practice. For while the movie flows seamlessly, it has two points that almost dragged it down. One of those was Chief Officer Mooney, whose blatant negligence towards emergency calls (did it not cross his mind that we could be dealing with serial killers dressed as circus clowns?)  and obvious brutality against the youngsters would have gotten him fired ages ago. But, thankfully, David being the smart and responsible cop in the movie balances that out and just makes Mooney murder-fodder for later on (and it’s especially hilarious, trust me).

            The other thing was, sad to say, Debbie. I had high hopes for blondie when I saw her, as she was smart enough to realize that a circus tent in the middle of nowhere (that happens to look like the skittle version of love-craft on the inside) is likely unsafe, especially when you see it just after you saw something weird in the sky. But her smart decisions were not due to last as she fell into the obligatory role of damsel in distress.  In the movie’s defense, this does add to the overall b-movie feel of everything, but I just felt disappointed. It would have been kick-ass for the girlfriend to be the smart one who takes the lead instead of her boyfriend.

            Overall it won’t ruin the experience, and I say you have to see this movie. This is the crazy-awesome at it’s finest, with some of the best comedic timing I ever seen in a film. It has better acting than a film called Killer Klowns deserves, decent special effects for its time, and stays internally consistent through most of the movie. Ignoring the fancy-critical approach, it’ just a damn funny movie that’s best enjoyed late at night with a buddy and a bowl of popcorn.

            Now then, let’s see. We went from the well known, to box-office, to teen, and to obscure. What next...how about something British?

Next Review: The Adventures of Baron Munchausen

Lost Boys: Live Long, Die Never

-From sodahead

Of course I was going to make a Twilight reference. What kind of Internet nerd would I be if I hadn’t?

            The Lost Boys is a teenage horror film from the 80s. It’s about Michael and Sam Emerson, who move to Santa Carla, California with their mother, Lucy. They move back into Grandpa’s house, but soon discover that his taxidermist tendencies are the least of their problems. Michael gets himself mixed up with a tribe of vampires in an attempt to impress a hot-hippie-chick, and discovers that he’s slowly turning into the same undead murderer his new buddies are. The only way to save himself, his new girlfriend, and their little friend Laddie, is to face off against his new found family; Van Hellsing style.  It’s cheesy, predictable, and wicked fun to watch; loved it from start to finish.

            Our plot is highly unoriginal for it’s time: New kid in town wants to impress pretty girl/ join the cool kids, new kid ends up joining gang, and gang turns out to be bad. It’s saved from feeling like an after-school special thanks to the lack of smart adults, and an incredibly dark, moody atmosphere(and, you know, the vampires.). The bad part is that our pace is incredibly fast. Conversations go at break-neck speed, and relationships aren’t really given the time they need to develop properly. The time it takes for Star and Michael to get to sexy-time breaks the record for the fifty-meter dash.

            Problems aside, the Lost Boys themselves are the saving grace of this entire film They look like Captain Hook on a goth trip, and sport an attitude that an older Peter Pan would have likely been proud of: Party all night, sleep all day, and never grow up.  But what makes them so fascinating is this mafia-like stoicism that underscores everything they do. Joining the family is a big deal, and being part of the gang trumps whatever else you had going on.

 There’s also something refreshing about watching vampires excitedly hunt, stalk, and kill their prey with the same childlike glee of Christmas Day. I have nothing against the romanticized vampire, and in fact quite like it, but it’s also nice to get back to the basics. Add to the fact that the book stores these days are saturated with fanged-pretty-boys that are more likely to be your prom-date than your nightmare. Needless to say, I was rather happy to put these vampires into the ‘bed afraid’ part of my brain.

            Sadly, our villains will forever be much more interesting than our leads. Michael and Sam aren't bad characters, but they fall into a predictable pattern pretty quick. Michael is the good kid who made a big mistake and Sam is the poor, nearly helpless younger brother who’s trying to keep the big secret from Mom. In fact, the mother is the only one who honestly surprised me. She wasn’t treated like the mindless authority figure that I expected her to be and was instead shown as a loving and attentive parent (while still oblivious to the plot.)  It’s my biggest pet peeve when adults act worse than the kids in these teen movies(or in a sitcom) or when attempts to be a parent are shown as ‘mean’ and ‘intrusive’. So this movie gets a big ole’ gold star for treating Lucy as an innocent bystander who actually knows how to be a good mom.

            To draw into my final thought, I ask you to think about where the vampire has gone these past years. To echo my statement about ‘fanged-pretty boys’, I enjoyed this movie because its different from what I’m used to. The idea of “Vampire Bad” has been lost in the flow of popular media and I'm always grateful to get back to the classics. And, as a classic, I highly recommend this movie to anyone looking for a good Vampire movie. It’s cool, dark, fun in it’s nostalgia and awesome in it’s old-school action.

P.S: I hope you like G. Tom Mac’s song “Cry Little Sister”, as you’ll be hearing it a lot. Kisses!

Next Film: Killer Klowns From Outer Space (yes, that’s how they spell it).